Maintaining a relationship whether for love, friendship, among others requires commitment and interest. The same heart that Busby SEO Test participants devote in this competition. David Niven, author of 100 Simple Secrets of Great Relationships, shared what scientists have learned in his book. Here are 20 of them that caught my attention.

1. The mundane is heroic

Sacrificing your immediate preferences and being committed to sharing, caring, and listening are mundane but heroic steps toward your lifetime relationship goals.

2. See possibilities where others see obstacles

Constant attention to the weaknesses of any relationship will weaken it. Constant attention to the strengths of any relationship will strengthen it.

3. Set rules for conflict

Decide on how you can air concerns to each other in a format that allows both of you to participate.

4. Anyone can find a happy relationship

Fulfilling relationships have everything to do with who you are but not with what you are.

5. It’s not how hard you try

Work on your relationship with logic and reason, not with maximum effort.

6. You have nothing to envy

Don’t be envious or compete to become better than your partner. Real prize of content and more satisfying relationship goes to those who refuse to compete with their partner.

7. Attitude triumphs over outcome

Continue being someone who contributes to others’ happiness, see the good around you, and offer love, affection, and support to the right partner.

8. Don’t be bound by tradition

Live within your own standards.

9. The past is not the future

Learn from your experience and avoid mistakes of the past.

10. No one wins the comparison game

Your relationship must be evaluated based on your own needs, not on the relationship success of those around you.

11. See the love around you

Think of the many people who love you and the depth of their love for you.

12. Doing nothing is rarely a solution

Approach relationship problems with all your attention and abilities, the way you would be approaching anything that is important to you.

13. Pursue what you need forever, not what you want today

View the search for a happy relationship not as a process of immediate satisfaction but as a means to pursue your fundamental needs.

14. The Relationship Test: Are you Lonely?

If you are in a relationship and you say yes, then the relationship is not meeting your most fundamental needs.

15. A relationship requires two equals

In the project that is a relationship, no one gets top billing because without two equals there is no relationship.

16. Cultivate a common interest

Common interests encourage positive communication, fun, and they strengthen the connection between partners.

17. Money can’t buy love, but it can buy stress

Put money in its place — behind what really matters to you.

18. There are no mind readers

We often set up our partners to fail us in situations by not disclosing our feelings and the situation as we see it. When you need support, explain the situation. The response you receive will not only be meaningful but also more powerful.

19. Friends speak from experience – their own

Value their friendship, but understand that their advice applies primarily to themselves.

20. Drink less

Light drinkers are happier and more confident in their relationships.

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